To unlearn what we have been programmed with since childhood takes time and effort. Knowing that your worth isn't defined by how you were treated growing up. The fact that someone didn't know how to express their feelings toward you, or love you the way you deserved, does not mean that you are not lovable.
Human existence is filled with wonderful rewards, including discovering who you really are and your truest purpose. The sooner you begin your journey to transformation, the sooner you will witness it for yourself.
Believe me. Having the ability to love yourself again can alter your existence and change your life in profound ways.
Dating and relationship success are directly impacted by your internal happiness. When you know yourself and your value, you can stand out from the other women in a dating pool. Women with high value and confidence are attractive and intriguing, but this transformation doesn't happen overnight. It is a lifestyle that you get to embrace and live intentionally.
To make this journey easier for you, here are 3 simple steps you can take:
1) STOP THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Your self-criticism and nonsensical statements are poison for the mind. Tell a friend if you aren't convinced. Let's try it the next time you're together.
What would their reaction be? My guess is that they would be offended, concerned, and perhaps even furious.
Girlfriend, you may think the conversations going on in your head are harmless, but every word you utter is magnified a dozen times in your head. It messes with your mental state and your ability to see how amazing you really are.
Do not wait for a nervous breakdown before taking action. The key to success is consistency and a radical commitment to your goals.
2) ALLOW NEW THINGS AND PEOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE
We are wired in such a way that we react to any change with fear and aversion. It's normal for people to react like that when faced with unknown or scary elements. The primitive mind interprets every unfamiliar or disruptive event as an attack by a saber tooth tiger, which makes it jump to the fight or flight mode every time.
Let's imagine what it would be like if his new found world opened up new perspectives and views for him?
Now, the impossible becomes possible, and resources are no longer an issue.
This would be awesome, wouldn't it? You'd be surprised by how much more it can be than that.
Start small and introduce something new each week/month:
New Playlists for different genres of music
New Podcasts or books
A new hobby or something you've been wanting to try
A new place to get coffee, tea, and sweet treats
A new restaurant or a new dish
A new online community or a Facebook group
It can also be:
New worship space or a new congregation
An exciting new shopping mall
The possibilities are endless.
Habit fosters a sense of security and we tend to stick with the familiar, but Oprah Winfrey's wise words state "In order for your life to change, you must change." That really is as simple as it gets.
3) LEARN THE ART OF GIVING
Leave each place or person a little better than you found it.
Whether it is a hug, a kind word, a smile, a gesture of appreciation, your undivided attention, or a shoulder to cry on, your gift can help.
A true measure of happiness is found in the kindness and compassion shown by individuals. An individual may volunteer, donate their skill, or make a monetary contribution if they feel compelled to do so. A simple act of kindness on a daily basis is the secret to happiness and transformation.
The best way to discover ourselves is to go out and do good every day, appreciate our skills and talents, and put them into practice. Your story has the potential to inspire a lot of people.
In the end, you will reap the benefits of all your efforts many times over.
"Become the change you want to see in the World." - Ghandi
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